Never Knew I Needed You Till I Let You Go
by Livyloozer
Summary: As high school seniors, things seem about the same: she stubbornly hangs tight to her secret and he's as dense as ever. What's it going to take to get them together? Well, the truth seems to come out easier in the most dire of situations...
1. His Last Straw

**A/N: Ok, I know I'm supposed to be writing "They Found Love" and I am! Chapter 3 is about halfway done now. But anyways, this idea randomly came to me and I was inspired so here it is! This started as a one-shot idea but I decided to make it about a 5-chapter story.**

 **My inspiration for this was the songs "Never Knew I Needed" by Ne-Yo and "Let Her Go" by Passenger. The title of this is sort of a combo of the two song titles! Also, I had a similar, but far less severe, experience a few weeks ago and I'm still trying to get over it so I guess this is my way of expressing my feelings about it…yeah, I'll go with that!**

 **Oh and there will be some verb tense shifting in this chapter and the next one because both are going through earlier events until getting caught up back to the present so fair warning!**

 **I have absolutely nothing ownership-wise to do with "Hey Arnold!". That is all.**

Never Knew I Needed You Till I Let You Go

Chapter 1: His Last Straw

 _I can't believe the day I'm having, probably the worst ever…well so far I guess. This is probably worse than that one Friday the thirteenth when Wolfgang and Edmund decided to mess with Gerald and I to make it look like we were cursed for breaking all those superstitions…Ugh, first my alarm didn't go off so I was last in line for the bathroom, which caused me to barely have time for breakfast or so I thought because I missed the bus, which I wouldn't have had to take if the Packard hadn't of broken down…again. Then, after sprinting the eight blocks to the high school, just barely making it right before first bell. That was the good only thing that happened today. I then stepped in gum on my way to class. Then, for the first time ever, I failed a quiz, in English. English! My favorite subject…no, not even close! But I'm usually decent in it, though I guess not today! Then at lunch, I accidentally flipped my tray which landed on my lap. I then got laughed at by a group of freshman after I reappeared from the bathroom after having to get cleaned up, since apparently to them it looked like I wet myself…grr…Then later in class, the jokes still didn't quite cease. Guess who was leading the whole thing…the same one who kept pelting me with spitballs. Somehow, I still had the patience to just keep pressing on through my day. Then when that final bell rang, I all but bolted out of that classroom, relieved to be done with today and this week since thankfully it's Friday. I just got to my locker and that's when I saw her. I mustered up my courage to go talk to her again. I was thinking that she'll probably shut me down for the millionth time but I didn't care. We're meant to be together. It has to be true._

 _"Hey, Lila-oof!" Suddenly my line of vision and my balance have changed drastically and I find myself on the ground. I barely had enough time to stop my face from hitting the hard, tile floor. I just had to be the butt of some prankster's joke, and not just any prankster but_ her _. It's always her! Helga G. Pataki, the thorn in my side since day one practically._

 _I don't understand her. I really don't. I try to be nice to her or ignore her. Heck, I've done that for as long as I can remember. Ok, ok, she actually hasn't been so bad when I came back from San Lorenzo two years ago, well in general at least. On her good days, which are what I call them, we get along great. Sometimes we meet up to work on homework, whether we've been partnered up together or not. She even lets me play my jazz music from time to time, something nobody else seems to tolerate but she seems to like it. And I strangely have found myself actually liking some of her favorite hard rock tracks, and then there's her blunt jokes, the way everything she does is done with such passion and conviction, her intense, deep blue eyes…wait, how did I get here?_

 _Anyways, the point is, that I don't get Helga G. Pataki. I never have and I never will, especially recently. We have the occasional nice moment where I believe that maybe she's letting me in and will let me be her friend. And then the next day, it's as if she forgot all about what happened the day before and I find myself back on square one yet again. Well, no more. The fact that she tripped me was just the cherry on top of my horrible day and I truly believe I have reached my limit. And it's all thanks to_ her _. And that brings me back to now…_

"Whoops, how clumsy of you!" Helga says with her signature smirk. Somehow, though I expected it, her go-to response she uses after tripping me is enough to push away any doubtful feelings I had about letting her have it.

"Helga, don't give me that. I'm not in the mood. I know it was you. Your foot's still out for one thing," I respond dryly as I get up. Now facing her, I give her a look that just screams that I am anything but amused. Her eyes widen a bit at that but then her smirk just grows wider. She's not only unfazed but she seems to be enjoying the fact that she pushed me over the edge.

"Ok, ok, you caught me, Einstein!" she replies with a dramatic exasperated tone as she throws her hands up in mock surrender, "What, do ya wanna medal or something, yeesh!" she sarcastically adds as she crosses her arms and feigns an annoyed expression.

"No, I don't, Helga," I spit back at her, just mentally done with _this_ , whatever this odd routine is that we go through day in and day out. I am just done. I get closer to her and that makes her smirk disappear as she starts to retreat a bit, obviously getting uncomfortable.

"What I want is for you to stop this, this juvenile way you have been treating me. Through all these years, you still pull these stupid stunts and mess with me when I have done nothing to deserve this! We're seventeen now, Helga, so grow up! I know you have issues and that you're not actually this way and so for that I have tried to be understanding and patient but there's only so much that even I can take. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe all you are is just a bully. I realized that I don't need this. I don't need you in my life if you're going to keep acting like this. And since you only respond to threats..," Trailing off, I find myself barely a few inches away from her face, just staring her down. I'm nearly panting at that last bit since all that just tumbled out of my mouth so fast and without warning, but they all felt like the right things to say. They felt like they were long overdue. Before I continued, just looking at her slightly panicked but still quite stubborn expression, I knew that she wasn't going to change, that nothing was going to get through to her. And with that, I shake my head and completely revise what I'm going to say next.

"No, you know what? I'm just wasting my time. I know you'll never change your immature and mean ways and I'm tired of giving you chance after chance so I'm putting an end to them myself. Since I know you won't stop treating me this way, you can just stay out. Stay out of my way. Stay out of my business. And stay out of my life! There's no place for you in it," I conclude simply with a final glare in her direction, my anger clouding my vision so I never really noticed her reaction to my final declaration of basically me washing my hands of her once and for all. I don't even want to stick around to see how she reacts. I don't care anymore. And so I just leave her standing there as I just walk out of the school without a second thought or a look back at her. I meant what I said. I am done with her.

Once on the school steps, I close my eyes and give a deep sigh as I lean my head back to welcome the feeling of the sun's rays on my skin. The sunshine seemed to be congratulating me for finally doing what I should've done forever ago. Relief washes over me as I feel I have just accomplished a huge victory…and yet, there's something else. There's this gnawing feeling deep down telling me that maybe I need to go back in there and…I scratch my head, trying to figure out what to do, the hard demeanor gets replaced with guilt. But then, just as I fully make the decision to go back in there and try to fix things, my hand hits something round and slightly still damp. I pull the spitball from my hair and after rolling it around in my hand a few times, the hardness returns. Instead, I fully exit the school and begin the walk to my house as if it was any other day. I feel I made the right choice.

 **A/N: Yes, Helga is sticking to what she knows. Something is sort of developing but Arnold is as dense as ever! I guess I'm evil for ending the first chapter this way but I swear this has a happy ending!**


	2. Her Bad Timing

**A/N: I didn't expect to update so fast. I got really inspired I guess!**

 **I don't own "Hey Arnold!" and by that I mean the rights and all that. I have the series on DVD and that's the closest to ownership I'll ever get!**

Chapter 2: Her Bad Timing

 _What is wrong with me?! I'm seriously convinced I'm messed up! Honestly, I've gotten so stuck in this habit that I don't know anything else. And I was having a good day so far. I finally remembered to set my alarm for once so I had just enough time to put a little more effort into getting ready than I usually do. I actually felt like doing those annoying practices of vanity that I rarely have the patience for at all, like shaping up my eyebrows, which they really needed that. I even had time to pack my lunch so at least I didn't starve today. Not only did I have extra time to get ready and pack my lunch, but I also remembered to take the keys to my car so I wouldn't have to take the bus. It was actually Olga's old car that was handed down to me on my sixteenth birthday but I wasn't complaining. It was a decent car and my parents actually remembered my birthday. More good luck came my way when I scored a good parking space in the student lot, one not too far from the school so I didn't have that far to walk._

 _Then in my first class, I aced yet another English quiz. As an added bonus, the teacher didn't embarrass me by reading one of my poems to the class again. Heck, I was in such a good mood that not only did I know the answers to the questions my teachers randomly called on me to answer, but I also actually felt like answering them correctly without any snide remarks, which really rattled them a little bit. Hehehe._

 _By lunchtime I was almost giddy. Even Phoebe could tell I was in a good mood because she didn't sport that famous concerned look my way or anything. I guess she was relieved good things were happening to me for a change or probably just the fact that I wasn't angry. I think I've calmed down a bit over the years but every now and then there's always some kind of trigger that forces me to make sure I have my anger in check._

 _Once again, I was feeling great by lunchtime. It was a major plus that I actually had something to eat this time. Honestly, my mother is trying more but I told her not to worry about it because she wouldn't remember anyways. Though she doesn't drink anymore, the damage has been done and she's still kind of scattered and forgetful. Go figure. But hey, she used to be a lot worse and at least I know she cares now…_

 _After lunch, classes resumed as usual and I continued to have a pretty good day. I even got some good spitballs in at my beloved's expense!_

 _After the final bell, I'm at my locker and that's when I saw him: Arnold Shortman. He was the bane of my existence, my torturer still to this day though he doesn't have a clue, and my childhood self even went as far to call him my sole reason for living…yeesh, what a basket case! I like to think I'm more level-headed now but I still have it bad for the football-headed shrimp, which is not even correct to say anymore since he finally caught up to me in the height department and then some. Anyways, there he was and it almost seemed like he was walking towards me, but I knew better than to actually think that. I was right but that didn't stop me from hoping that would be true, one day. I nearly got lost in my lovesick crazed thoughts for the millionth time in my life when I noticed who he had his sights on._ Her. _Little Miss Mary Sunshine herself, Li-la. Criminy, I knew Arnold wasn't really this dense. He probably knew deep down that they were never going to work. For one thing, Lila kept stringing him along. But he's a guy. And guys take forever to realize these things. Plus, he's so stubborn. I don't know what it'll take for him to see she doesn't like him like that, and that he should really be with me…of course, the reason he doesn't know that last bit is all my fault for hiding it so well._

 _Suddenly, without thinking it over, I stuck my foot out just as he was walking past me. I guess the jealousy and anger got a little too much yet again…Sure enough, the football head was in a state of shock as he barely dodged banging his head on the tiled floor._

 _"Whoops, how clumsy of you!" I found myself saying, a classic Helga saying that's for sure. I seriously was stuck in a rut I could never break free from, and I hated it. Yet, it was the only thing that made me feel safe, ironically enough._

 _The moment he turned around and was facing me with that cold and harsh expression, I knew that I had finally gone too far. When he confronted me, I should've apologized. I should've owned up to my mistake but I didn't do that. If anything I did the opposite. I was uncaring and sarcastic to the point where he felt the need to get in my face. At that point it took everything in me not to melt into a puddle at his feet. I didn't have much time to get all swoony though because it wasn't long before what came out of his mouth next became all I could focus on. His words cut me deeply, mainly because they were true. I did not deserve to be in his life. Honestly, I'm surprised he hasn't given up on me years ago. If he knew that it broke my heart every time I had to pretend nothing happened when we had such a nice time hanging out the day before, maybe he wouldn't blame me so much. I didn't really feel the point of being myself at school when there was no chance he was going to want to talk to me anyways. At school, he only has eyes for her. And I'm not going to fight for his affections, since it would be a losing fight after all, though she didn't even want him! Oh if only he knew, but then again that was my fault too. Not that it would matter anyways, especially not after what just happened._

 _By the time he finished declaring that he wanted me out of his life, my eyes were so full of tears that there was no way I could hide them. I then heard him stomping down the hall but I never saw him leave, since all those tears were blocking my vision. This brings me to now..._

Not long after he left, I take that as my cue to get out of here as well, but instead I go through the other end of the school, where the student parking lot is. In a few quick steps, I find myself sprinting, the growing need to just get out of here gets more intense by the second. At some point, I apparently run past Phoebe along the way because I could hear her calling my name in concern. I have no intentions of stopping though. I don't care if I'm freaking her out with my behavior. I don't feel anything but numb right. Once outside, I push myself to run even faster to my car. I get inside and then I'm off. I don't even remember turning the key in the ignition. It's like I'm on autopilot. I pull out of the parking lot with no exact direction in mind. My phone starts going off the second I drive off. It's probably Phoebe. Though I'll probably regret it later, I just ignore it. I don't care about anything right now. I just want to drive, to nowhere in particular. I'll go just about anywhere that will take my mind off of what just happened, if just for a little while. I'm not dumb though. I know that such a place does not exist. And why not? Because nothing will take my mind off of…him scrubbing me from his life…forever. I royally screwed up and I don't think there's a thing I can do about it this time.

 _"And stay out of my life! There's no place for you in it,"_

 _"And stay out of my life! There's no place for you in it,"_

 _"And stay out of my life!"_

 _"Stay out, stay out, stay out, stay out, stay out, stay out…"_

 _"There's no place, no place, no place…for you!"_

Those words replay themselves in my head. They become jumbled and mixed up, which makes them sound even harsher, if that's even possible. They continue to haunt me as I drive aimlessly.

"Maybe he's right," I think to myself out loud, "Maybe I'm no good for him and I just need to give up, once and for all, for him. It's gonna hurt like he-holy mother of fu-!" I scream as suddenly my thoughts are abruptly interrupted. A truck comes out of nowhere, obviously turning and running that red light when it wasn't supposed to. The visual of it hitting me head-on is the last thing I see. Before everything turns black, the last thought I have is how I wish I could at least live long enough for me to have the chance to apologize to Arnold, for everything…

 **A/N: Well, I guess I'm really evil for ending this chapter like this! Before you send hate mail my way, Helga lives!**

 **Ok, so the other good news is that I'm about half done with chapter 4. The bad news is that this was chapter 2! XD In other words, I'm not sure when I'll finish chapter 3!**


	3. What She Lost

**A/N: Ok, so in this chapter we find out how Helga's doing!**

 **Seriously peoples, "Hey Arnold!" is not mine.**

Chapter 3: What She Lost

"Ugh…criminy…why do I feel like I got hit by a truck? Oh wait, I guess that's because I did," I chuckle darkly as the memories come back to me in random pieces.

I was thinking of giving up on Arnold, well trying to at least. Then I hoped I had the chance to apologize before I went under…and now I'm here. That's pretty much what I remember clearly, basically the beginning and ending. Everything else, that giant middle part, is what's fuzzy but I think I'm starting to get a clearer understanding, especially now that I'm becoming more alert.

Here's what I do know. There was a truck that hit me. At the time, I thought it was coming head-on and maybe it did and perhaps tried to swerve out of the way but it still got me. Oh, it got me alright. The impact was partly head-on and partly towards my side, like I got hit twice. I remember fading in and out of consciousness several times. The first time I passed out happened after the second time the truck hit me. I don't know how much time passed when the ambulance showed up. When they did, they must have been waiting for the fire department to come and help and I passed out again for a bit. When I came to, I awoke to the sound of machinery whirring and sawing at the roof of my car. Moments later, I was freed from my car and placed securely on a stretcher. As the paramedics wheeled me to the ambulance, I remember trying to say something to them but whatever it was, I don't think I was successful. I faded out again on the way to the hospital. And that's it. That's where my side of the story ends. I'm sure there is more to know but I was out cold during that time.

"Ms. Pataki? Oh good, you're awake," a female voice suddenly pours into my room, hesitant at first but more sure of herself now, whoever this person is. I look to the direction of the voice and find a young nurse walking up to me. Her smile is genuine and warm. Most of her features are warm and calming too, like her dark brown curly hair and chocolate eyes.

"Good morning, Miss Pataki. I'm Jessie, she introduces herself with a kind smile, "Glad to see that you're more alert now. That's a good sign. How are you feeling?" she asks me with a small hint of worry in her voice.

"I'm not sure…I guess I'm fine. Sorry. I just woke up," I admit apologetically. Normally, I would probably snap at my nurse but Jessie seems so sweet and honest. She doesn't deserve that, just like somebody else I know who doesn't deserve my torture…Besides, I'm not quite back to my normal self, or more accurately, the self that I actually show others. I guess that accident shook me up.

"That's quite understandable, Miss Pataki. It's quite common for cases like yours to feel rather out of it when they wake up in the hospital," Jessie responded honestly, her smile unwavering, "We're actually going to find out more about the status of your condition. Your doctor wasn't able to assess you when you were first admitted last night so he's on his way to do that now. I wanted to explain what's going on to you first and to keep you company before he shows up," Jessie explains to me, that warm and kind smile still there, as real as real could get. I nod and give a small smile back in understanding. Though I hate this situation, at least my nurse is cool.

"Hello, Miss Pataki," the doctor says in greeting as he suddenly enters the room and walks up to my bed. He's tall and older with salt and pepper hair. His smile is almost as genuine as Jessie's but it's also a tired smile, like he's almost approaching the end of another long shift or maybe this is the result of being a doctor for several years. I'm not sure about which it is, could be both for all I know.

"Hi, Doc. It's Helga by the way," I respond back, my usual right-to-the-point way of handling things is returning.

"Helga, I'm Dr. Harris. I'm just going to check on your present level of functioning post-accident. It'll just be quick tests of things like your physical and mental state, ok?" the doctor asks then looks at me for my answer.

"Go right ahead," I reply with a shrug.

"Alright, can you tell me where you are at right now?" Dr. Harris asks.

Is he serious right now? This is obviously the beginning of his little series of tests, but it doesn't make that first question feel any less ridiculous. If the situation was different, I would have probably started laughing.

"Doi, I'm in the hospital," I answer, feeling like I'm stating the obvious with that one. The doctor seems to be fighting his own urge to laugh.

"What is your name?" Dr. Harris asks next.

"Helga G. Pataki," I answer. The one and only.

"What's the G stand for?" Dr. Harris asks, clearly wanting me to tell him though he probably knows. After all, he's holding my chart for Pete's sake!

"It stands for 'Get out of my business'," I answer a little curtly but after getting a confused look back I decide to change my answer a bit, "I mean, I know what my middle name is but I would rather not say it and it's probably in my chart anyways," I elaborate with a small smirk, to which Dr. Harris seems to find that answer more acceptable and just reacts with a small chuckle before moving on. The test on my mental state continues with Dr. Harris asking me several different questions and tasks, like having to remember three words and then telling him what they were about five or so questions later. He even asks me math problems and then gets me to explain how I would make a sandwich! Criminy, I get the point of this test but to me it's a bit silly. I guess that means the accident hasn't screwed up my brain.

"Well, Helga, neurologically, you seem to be fine," Dr. Harris answers while writing something in his clipboard before continuing, "Now onto the physical portion. Helga, can you turn your head for me?" Dr. Harris asks, beginning the second test.

I move my head around with no issue until I turn my head to the right. There's a small pain that shoots up. I wince in reaction. The doctor writes more stuff in his clipboard.

"That slight crick in your neck is pretty common," Dr. Harris assures me, "It should be gone soon but we can monitor it just in case," he tells me as he continues with the test. He asks me to move my body, one part of it at a time and in a top-to-bottom fashion. I feel parts of my hands and arms getting poked to see if I can feel each sensation, which I do. Upon command, I then wiggle my fingers, flick my wrists, bend my arms up to my shoulders, make small then large circles with my arms…everything seems to check out alright so far. Then Dr. Harris moves on to assessing my lower body.

Dr. Harris begins by slowly moving a scalpel up and down one of my feet to see if I can feel it. My eyes widen as alarm bells ring off in my head. This is definitely not good.

"Did you feel that, Helga?" Dr. Harris asks, obviously misreading my expression, not that I can blame him though.

"No…" I answer truthfully, my tone is laced with worry.

"How about this?" Dr. Harris asks as he moves onto the other foot.

I shake my head, the only response I am able to give. Nothing. I feel nothing. I see what the doctor is doing but I can't feel it. Why can't I feel it?! Why can't I move my legs? Why can't I move anything below the waist?

I then hear Dr. Harris sigh, rather long and deep.

'Well, that's obviously not a good sign,' I think to myself, preparing myself for what the doctor is about to say because it's probably anything but good news.

"Helga, I'm afraid that you are experiencing some paralysis right now. I'm going to recommend more testing later to determine the extent of it," Dr. Harris answers truthfully, his tone sympathetic.

"For how long will I be like this?" I ask rather abruptly that I nearly startle the doctor but I need to know.

"At this point, it's hard to say. It could be temporary or permanent. But I don't want you to think about that now because we don't know yet, ok?" Dr. Harris assures me, or is trying to. All this stuff is easy for him to say, especially since he's not the one lying here being told news like this.

"Ok," I manage to agree. Outwardly, I seem fine but inside I'm a nervous wreck and just full of worry about what my future holds. Was yesterday the last time I'll ever get to do things like walk and run?

Dr. Harris writes some more in his clipboard. Before leaving, he tells me that he'll be back a little later to inspect my condition further.

Jessie and I watch the doctor leave my room. She then turns to look at me, her smile is gone and is replaced by a worried look.

"I am really sorry this happened to you, Helga," she says empathetically and I just nod in response but not in a rude way. I am still numb but I think she understands. Her expression is still warm and compassionate.

"By the way," Jessie adds, "Your parents have been here all night. They went home earlier this morning to freshen up and they'll be back when visiting hours start up again," Jessie explains. I nod and thank her for telling me.

"Is there anybody else you want me to contact for you?" Jessie asks, her tone sincere.

"Yes," I answer, "My best friend, Phoebe, who's probably worrying herself crazy," I shake my head in brief amusement over that but inside I was truly grateful for Phoebe always being there for me.

I give Jessie a minute to get out a small notepad and a pen before I tell her Phoebe's number.

"Is there any kind of message in particular you'd like me to tell her?" Jessie asks me next, her pen fixed right at the writing pad in preparation for what I would say for her to tell Phoebe.

"Just tell her I've been in an accident and where I am and that I'm fine. That's it. I don't want her to hear about _this_ ," I pause to gesture to my legs for emphasis, "Besides, I'm not ready to say it out loud yet," I explain, nearly choking on that last bit.

After promising to get the message out right away, Jessie gives my shoulder a squeeze and flashes me a sad but caring smile before leaving the room.

Now that I'm alone, the tears are threatening to come out all the more but I fight them back. I don't have a reason to cry…yet. Deep down though, I know the answer. Further testing or not. Thanks to the accident, I'm now paralyzed from the waist down.

 **A/N: I didn't plan on making an OC but it was kind of fun! By the way, the neurological/mental testing was about a combination of orientation, memory, language and other things. I condensed it a bit here but this is what I did last semester. I got to put some of my own experiences and knowledge into this, which is pretty cool! Haha. I am not majoring in physical therapy though so that's why I breezed through that part and that might not have been entirely accurate but oh well.**

 **Also, in real life, Helga would've probably had some neurological trauma too. So basically, it's a good thing this is fictional!**

 **Chapter 4 is about half done. I don't like to give timeframes because I could be wrong but I think that a week tops might be a good estimate about when the next chapter will be up!**


	4. What He Found

**A/N: I'm a little past the deadline I set for myself but I'm still pleased with myself for being close!**

 **Ok, I need to make it clear that I'm not going to tolerate any comment fights on here. I hate to have to say this but I sense one beginning so please take that somewhere else, or better yet, let's not do that at all! We're all entitled to have an opinion so please no hating on anybody's respective ships! Ok, glad that's settled! :) Alrighty…chapter 4 here we go!**

 **We're now back to Arnold's point of view but with Gerald and Phoebe playing an important part in this chapter. And yes, they are a couple in this story!**

 **"Hey Arnold" is not mine. It's not mine. And oh yeah, it's not mine.**

Chapter 4: What He Found

"Phoebe says that she's not answering her phone," Gerald says suddenly after several seconds of silence, his tone neutral. He and I are currently at his house, in the middle of defeating a very difficult boss on the newest video game that Gerald recently got for his birthday.

I don't answer Gerald but that doesn't seem to stop him from continuing.

"Phoebe tried to talk to Helga at her house yesterday but nobody was home…" Gerald responds, trailing off but I'm not sure if he did that because of hesitation over something else he wanted to say or that he's getting too engrossed in the game again. Either one seems possible. I get what he's trying to tell me but I'm not having it. I'm not letting anyone make me feel guilty about what I did. I say that but deep down, the knot in my stomach keeps getting worse. I can still ignore it though and that's exactly what I have been doing since yesterday.

Suddenly, Gerald's phone starts going off. I recognize the ringtone as the one he set for Phoebe. Pausing the game, Gerald answers it.

"Hey, babe!" Gerald greets then waits for Phoebe's reply from the other end.

"Huh? Ok, sure, but why? What's wrong? Is everything ok?" Gerald asks in response. Whatever Phoebe said, it definitely seems to be making Gerald kind of worried for some reason.

"Oh, ok then. Yeah, see you soon," Gerald answers then ends the phone conversation. He then lets out a sigh then turns to look at me.

"So…that was Phoebe," Gerald says jokingly.

"Yeah, no kidding," I respond with a dry chuckle, "What was that about?" I ask curiously.

"I really don't know, man. All I know is that she needs me to pick her up at her house now but she won't tell me where she needs to go…" Gerald answers and sounds confused. He scratches his head in thought before continuing, "Oh well, I guess I'll find out soon enough," he reasons as he begins to get up from the couch to grab his car keys. I decide that this is my cue to leave, not that I mind. Phoebe obviously needs Gerald for something. Besides, Gerald and I can continue the game another time. No big deal.

"Ok, well I'll see you later, Gerald," I say as I get up and start to head out the door.

"Wait a minute, Arnold," Gerald answers, his tone kind of neutral.

"What?" I ask as I turn around to face him.

"Phoebe knew you were here and wanted me to make sure you came with us," Gerald states simply.

"What? Why?" I ask in confusion. I look into Gerald's eyes and he seems about as confused by all this as I am. But then again, it seems like he's holding something back though maybe I'm imagining that.

"Honestly, man, I have no idea. But let's just go and see for ourselves what's going on," Gerald answers, to which I just shrug in reply. I guess he has a point. We'll know soon enough.

Grabbing his keys, Gerald heads out the door and I follow. We get in his car, with me in the backseat so Phoebe can sit in the passenger side with Gerald. Then we drive the short distance to Phoebe's house. She is standing on her stoop waiting for us as we pull up.

"Hey, babe," Gerald greets her as she climbs in the passenger side. He leans in and kisses her cheek, causing Phoebe to blush a little.

"Hello, Gerald," she greets back with a small giggle, "Hello, Arnold!" Phoebe calls out a bit in my direction.

"Hey, Phoebe," I say, returning her greeting with a wave and a smile.

"So, are we ready?" Gerald asks, mainly to Phoebe.

"Yes, I believe we are," Phoebe responds. Her voice is more serious-sounding now.

"So, Phoebe where are we going anyways?" I ask suddenly after riding in silence for a few minutes. The curiosity is starting to get to me.

"We're…going to see Helga," Phoebe finally answers with some hesitation.

"What?! And why do you think I wanna do that?" I ask angrily, though I feel more betrayed than angry right now. I guess I was right and Gerald was holding something back.

"Arnold, she's in the hospital…" Phoebe explains quietly, her voice breaking a bit as she trails off.

"Wait, what?" I ask in shock, the anger I recently felt about being tricked like that begins to wash away and gets replaced with concern.

"She got in a car accident and that's all I know. There was some kind of emergency at the hospital before her nurse could say more," Phoebe explains as she's fighting the urge to burst into tears. I notice Gerald taking one hand off the steering wheel to grab Phoebe's hand to comfort her. She gives a sad smile in his direction as thanks.

Maybe Phoebe needs a ride to the hospital. It's not like I'm going with them or anything. I mean, I hope Helga's ok but I still don't want to see her. I know I'm wrong about Phoebe just needing a ride. If that were the case, why did she want me to tag along? I'm not so dense that I don't realize that she wants me to come with them.

Without warning, Phoebe suddenly turns around in her seat and stares me down as soon as we pull up in the hospital parking lot.

"You're coming too, Arnold," Phoebe tells me point-blank like it's non-negotiable but that does not stop me from trying to get out of this.

"I don't remember agreeing to that," I argue while crossing my arms, my expression stoic. I knew that this was going to happen but Phoebe can ask me to come with them all she wants. I have no intentions of leaving this car.

"You didn't but you are," Phoebe counters back. Her own hardened gaze doesn't falter one bit during any of my attempts to fight this.

"There's nothing you can say that'll get me to go see her. Nothing," I argue right back. Normally, I don't like to get into arguments with close friends because usually we all get along well enough. However, this is a different matter altogether. Despite the knot in my stomach getting even worse, my mind is made up. I am determined to stay right here.

"Arnold, knock it off. I know that you're not really mad at her," Gerald suddenly intervenes, obviously getting annoyed. That gets to me and I finally feel all that wrongly placed anger subside.

"Yeah…you're right," I concede with a sigh, finally welcoming the guilt that I have been completely ignoring since I stormed out of that school yesterday. I realize now that all my anger and ill-feelings were wrongly placed. Of course, I am still a little upset with Helga but I have mostly been upset with myself. "Gerald, I screwed up. I mean, Helga gets under my skin sure, but I think I went too far. But I still don't want to see her right now, ok? I feel so ashamed over what I said to her. And besides, I think she hates me. Not that I blame her. I mean, her behavior is not anything new, yet it still gets to me. I just have to accept that this is the way things are going to be between us because…well maybe Helga does kind of hate me already," I explain, feeling rather dejected now but also still utterly confused about the enigma that is Helga G. Pataki. I doubt I will ever figure that one out.

"Arnold, Helga loves you!" Phoebe suddenly exclaims in exasperation. I have to take a second to allow the shock of Phoebe's words to fully consume me.

"She what?!" I exclaim, feeling my eyes practically enlarge to the size of dinner plates.

"Wow, you really are dense…," Phoebe shakes her head in disbelief before continuing, "Yes, Arnold. Helga has loved you for fourteen years now. Yes, that confession on the roof," Phoebe pauses to take in my shocked face at the mentioning of FTi, "Yes, Arnold, I know about it. Anyways, everything she said was completely true. She only took it back because she knew you were so uncomfortable with knowing her true feelings. That really hurt her to take it back but she felt your feelings meant more than hers. Arnold, she's done so much for you that you don't even know or else you keep forgetting about them. She helped you save the neighborhood. She sacrificed her pair of Nancy Spumoni snow boots and then stayed up helping Mr. Bailey track Mr. Hyunh's daughter in time for Christmas. Yes, Arnold, she was your Christmas Angel. And do you know what else? Helga will kill me for telling you this but remember when you won that essay contest?" I nod in a daze, already dreading this little revelation because I have a feeling I know what it is already.

"Well, the truth is that you came in second place. Helga's essay was the original winner but she turned it down. She could've selected San Lorenzo as her prize trip but she believed that if she did that then she would have to explain herself to you and she wasn't comfortable with that considering what happened the last time you demanded an answer from her. Anyways, before she won, she overheard you tell Gerald about how much you wanted to win and what you would do if you did win. When she heard that she won, she convinced the contest people that you deserved to win and not her. She even got them to swear they wouldn't mention anything about this to you. Luckily, that was one of those competitions where the first place winner always got notified first. She also had them destroy your second place letter and make a new first place one in your name so you would never know the truth. I think that's proof enough that she loves you, right?" Phoebe asks me. The question is more rhetorical than anything else, but I still shake my head.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean she still-" I start to argue but Phoebe cuts me off.

"Her feelings haven't changed. In fact, they may be stronger," Phoebe counters confidently.

"Well then why didn't she tell me or at least stop acting so awful to me?" I argue, feeling like I now have logic on my side.

"Because you never gave her a chance," Phoebe says simply without missing a beat.

"What?" I ask in shock. Now that definitely stops me in my tracks and forces me to think it over, but I got nothing.

"Think about this, you get along together fine when alone, right?" Phoebe asks suddenly. I wonder where she's going with this but whatever it is that she's getting at, I doubt I'm going to like it.

"Yeah, but-"

"And yet, it's like that never happened the next day at school?" Phoebe questions, interrupting me.

"Yes, but I still don't understand why that-"

"Then tell me, is there something different between those two moments, and by that I mean, who's not around when it's just you two and yet is there at school and is all that seems to occupy your mind?" Phoebe asks me quite directly, interrupting me again. I'm more preoccupied by what Phoebe's asking me, as well as the speed that she's asking me in, that I don't have a chance to get annoyed by the fact that she keeps interrupting me.

"Lila?" I guess out loud. Laughter soon follows my response.

"Wow, you actually got it on the first try. I'm impressed," Gerald pipes up with a laugh as he turns around to join the conversation, his tone is full of amusement.

"Gerald, shut up. And I know you're in on this. How could you?" I tell him, shooting an annoyed look in his direction.

"Sorry. Ya know I love ya, man. But you sure are the densest person I have ever met," Gerald explains while holding back more laughter. My glare grows, which he notices and soon clears his throat, finally putting his little laughing fit to a halt.

"Ok, ok. I'm done. I swear!" Gerald holds up his hands in mock surrender which he stops that with a sigh soon after he sees that I do not find that amusing at all, "Well, maybe I wouldn't have to be a part of this if you weren't so stubborn…," Gerald starts to argue then shakes himself out of it before starting over, "Look man, I know it sounds crazy but she loves you and you know that what she told you seven years ago on that rooftop was true and still is. You just haven't gotten around to admitting that to yourself because for some reason you're still hung up over the same girl who won't give you the time of day. And I thought you were over her in fourth grade, man! What happened? It's like you picked up where you left off with your fourth grade crush on her the minute you came back from San Lorenzo. It's like you forgot everything that happened right before you decided you were done liking her in fourth grade…" Gerald starts to trail off when he suddenly looks like he is realizing something else, "Wow, man, I think you even forgot about that moment in the jungle when I caught you and Helga making ou-"

"Gerald!" I exclaim, interrupting his little rant. I'm definitely regretting the fact that I told him what happened on the roof of the FTi building.

"Well, it's true man! You and Helga were sucking face! Happily, might I add!" Gerald accuses me while grinning madly in amusement.

"Ok, I'm not denying it but it was six years ago, Gerald! It didn't mean anything," I counter quickly.

"It may not have meant anything to _you_ , Arnold but there's a second party you're ignoring in all of this," Phoebe points out with a hint of annoyance in her voice, obviously trying to defend her best friend.

"Well if it meant so much to her then why didn't she say anything to me before I left? Why didn't she beg me not to stay in San Lorenzo? Why didn't she write to me?" I ask mainly in Phoebe's direction. My tone is probably confused and annoyed because that is what I feel right now.

"Now, Arnold," Gerald responds first instead of Phoebe, "You know Helga is not really mean enough to ask you to choose her over your parents," Gerald concludes, his tone almost scolding-sounding.

"No, she's not. But she's not really that bad at all, Gerald. It's mostly an act," Phoebe points out then turns to me, "And Arnold, to answer your other question, Helga wanted to write to you. In fact, she wrote you several letters but she never sent them. Now, I'm not condoning that. I think she should've sent them but she's more sensitive than you think, well at least wherever you're concerned. Besides, she didn't feel like she belonged in your world anymore, or that you even wanted to hear from her. I know you tried to contact her for a while after we all went home but she still thought that the kiss meant nothing to you, though it meant everything to her," Phoebe adds as she sends an accusatory look in my direction. She's really in full protector mode for Helga's sake, that's for sure.

"Hey, that's a good point, babe," Gerald states before turning his gaze back to me, "Arnold, just what was your opinion about that kiss, hmm?" he asks me, that suspiciously wide grin of his returning. He's definitely up to something.

"Gerald, what's the point in asking that? It obviously didn't mean anything to him," Phoebe asks, sounding exasperated and a little puzzled, like she just wants to drop this subject already.

"Are you sure about that, Phoebe? Because by the way Arnold's blushing, I think it did mean something," Gerald explains, sending a knowing smirk in my direction.

"Gerald, cut it out…" I order, turning my head away, though all that seems to do is make me blush even more. I did not even realize I have been blushing until Gerald pointed it out a second ago.

"Well, did it?" Gerald asks, his smirk growing like he already knows the answer. I bet he does. That's what I'm afraid of.

"Did what?" I ask, feigning confusion but it feels like a lost cause. I can tell Gerald is on to me. Denseness won't save me now, whether it's real or fake.

"You know what I'm talking about, man! Now tell me!" Gerald orders, obviously not falling for my lame attempt to avoid the subject.

"What do you want me to say? That that kiss in the jungle was the best kiss of my life and that I'm sad we just acted like it didn't happen afterwards?!" I exclaim defensively and it's all practically on the same breath, since I'm almost panting a little when I finish. I guess that has been waiting to be said for some time, though I didn't even know I still thought that way, or maybe I have always known but it's been in hiding for reasons I clearly don't remember.

"Wow, how long were you holding that in for?" Gerald questions me. At first he looks taken aback but a few seconds later the shock wears off and his smirk returns.

"Umm…a little while…" I say sheepishly while keeping my head down, my cheeks becoming even hotter. I wish we would stop talking about this already.

"Well, if you sort of knew you felt something for Helga, then why in the world do you still like Lila?" Gerald asks suddenly, though I kind of expected him to ask me that.

"Why not? She's thoughtful and sweet and has done plenty of nice things for me and unlike Helga, she doesn't hide them like she's ashamed or concerned about keeping her reputation," I explain. I'm a little surprised at the fact that my explanation sounded more like a 'Lila versus Helga' comparison, like that could even be done! The two were complete opposites.

"Wait, what has Lila done for you lately? I must've missed that one," Gerald asks for clarification, both his face and expression are puzzled.

"Well…umm…she helped plan my welcome home party," I reply, finally coming up with a decent example. I dare them to convince that that is not a good enough reason to still like Lila. In the back of my mind though, I'm wondering why it took me a while to think of something. And not to mention, while the example I thought of was the most recent one I have, it actually happened two years ago. I think that's kind of strange, though I do not have time to analyze it further because I can see Phoebe is getting ready to say something.

"What? Arnold, that wasn't Lila who planned it…" Phoebe begins to explain but trails off, like she's trying to find the right words or something. It could be my imagination but she almost sounds impatient.

"Wait, that wasn't Lila. Then…wait, you don't mean-?" I begin to ask, though I already know the answer. I get interrupted anyways.

"Yep, all this time you've been thanking the wrong girl. Helga planned and organized the whole thing," Gerald ends up answering instead.

"Well, then why didn't Helga say anything?" I wonder out loud, the frustration I feel about Helga's secretiveness during all these years is probably written all over my face. I have never been one for hiding my emotions, unless I'm doing it to protect someone's feelings. But other than that, I have a terrible poker face in normal circumstances.

"Arnold, you should know by now that Helga doesn't like to take acknowledgment for her good deeds because she feels like if she did then she'd be doing them for all the wrong reasons. Besides, you shouldn't be asking why Helga didn't say anything. The better question should be, 'Why didn't Lila correct you?' From what Helga told me, Lila tried to explain to you for a while but then let it go," Phoebe explains.

My eyebrows furrow at that as I take a moment to think this over. Ok, so it wasn't Lila who helped with my party two years ago. How did I feel about that? Did I feel upset that it was Helga and not Lila? The answer to my own question ends up shocking me. I don't feel upset by this news. I am disappointed, yes but not because I wish it was Lila. Ok, maybe I am a little disappointed in Lila for just giving up and basically owning up to something she didn't do. Though she never did that in words, but she let me think that so that's almost bad enough. Then again, I can't really blame her since my mind was made up and I can be quite stubborn and stuck in my ways. Deep down, I knew we would never work but still I kept chasing the fantasy of us that I had in my head. After all, it was far better than anything that could result of us actually trying to be a couple in real life. It was better because it wasn't real.

The person I am more disappointed in was Helga. I am disappointed in her hiding behind her toughness and doing this all the time, well when we are not alone that is. On the one hand, I now see why Helga resorts to those old tendencies, especially regarding all those times I've been blindly chasing after Lila. Wow, no wonder she tripped me…I remember now. She was right there and instead of walking to her, I pass her and walk to Lila. I guess it wasn't just Helga pretending the good times we had didn't happen. I mean, she started that but I guess I got so used to her doing that that it became a routine thing to me. And I guess I have been playing along ever since, even a little too well at times.

But still, I wish Helga was more true to herself. However, I can see why she doesn't like being noticed for her selfless acts. It's because then they wouldn't be very selfless anymore. I guess she's been doing good things for years and her reasons for hiding that fact went beyond hiding her reputation. It goes deeper than that. She was also hiding her secret since nearly all of her good deeds involved me in some way. I guess it is true. She loves me. Helga G. Pataki loves me and has been in love with me since the day we met, since the day I first laid eyes on that large pink bow…the one that matched her pants. I don't know what I'm more in shock of: the fact that I said that or the fact that that's probably what made Helga fall for me in the first place…well that and the fact that I held my umbrella over her head. She looked so sad and muddy and now I got the gist of what happened. Her parents didn't care to just let her walk to school on her own without anything to protect her from the pouring rain.

Helga's journey in this world did not start out as an easy one, that's for sure. But I guess, neither did mine. I lost my parents before I turned two and I guess Helga's parents chose to be figuratively missing from Helga's life starting on the day she was born. From what I heard, they are better to her now but it took a while for them to finally notice her. She had to toughen up a lot and grow up a lot faster than any kid should be expected to. I wish she didn't have to go through all that. I mean, not that I want her to change. She's rough around the edges but I love her just the way she-wait, what? What?

"What?!" I exclaim. That revelation is enough to abruptly pull me from my thoughts.

"Arnold?" Phoebe asks in concern.

"Hey, man, you ok?" Gerald then asks me right after Phoebe, his concern matching hers. I just blink at them for a second in confusion. Then I realize that that outburst did not just occur in my mind like I thought it did.

"I love her," I say quietly to myself.

"What was that, Arnold?" Phoebe asks as she tilts up her ear a bit to help her hear me better.

"I love her," I mutter, a little more vocal this time but they still don't seem to hear me.

"Hey, you're gonna have to speak up there," Gerald requested. He looks confused, though I swear I can see a smirk beginning to form on his face.

"I said 'I love her', ok?! I love her. I, Arnold Phillip Shortman, love Helga G. Pataki. I love how passionate she is in everything she does. I love how we share similar interests in movies, music, and even video games. Heck, she can kick my butt in every game out there and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I think it was my stubbornness and that false belief I had that made me keep pursuing Lila. I know that it wouldn't work though. We're too alike. But with Helga, I love how we get along so well when it's just us, probably because we have just the right combination of differences between us. I honestly think we'd balance each other out well and we already do. When my head has been in the clouds a bit too long, she can bring me back down to earth. She is an excellent judge of character and she can warn me when I get too trusting of somebody I shouldn't trust. I can talk her down when her passionate feelings become more vengeful when she has been wronged by somebody who's either really brave or just didn't know who they messed with. And I think she looks gorgeous when she dresses up but it's her go-to natural tomboy style that I love the best. I realized my feelings for her in the jungle and I guess they never went away. I regret not getting to tell her back then and clearing any confusion up because it's been way too long. I now dare anyone to try to stop me from telling her, especially after what happened to her yesterday. That has definitely taught me something: that life can change in an instant. It can be fine one minute but then it can all go horribly wrong the next and that's why you need to say what you need to say while you still have the chance. So while I still have the chance, I'm finally telling Helga that I love her," I admit so effortlessly that I shock myself, and yet it's not that surprising to me at all. I know I meant every word. My eyes widen at the sound of cheers nearby. Apparently, Gerald and Phoebe believes my little rant deserves an ovation of sorts.

"Oh my goodness! Arnold, you're going to make her so happy!" Phoebe gushes with glee.

"Well, it's about time!" Gerald exclaims as he bursts into laughter.

"Gerald, give me a break," I groan a bit but then give in and start laughing with Gerald about my own denseness, "Anyways, let's go," I add as I get out of the car. Gerald turns off his car and he and Phoebe follow my lead. We soon approach the front entrance of the building. In no time at all, we enter and I find my pace speed up as I try to seek out somebody who can tell us where Helga is. The hospital atmosphere brings out a strong sense of urgency in the air. I meant what I said, that I need to tell Helga the truth, that we both need to tell the truth to each other if we ever want this to work. I didn't know how close I was to never having the chance to tell Helga. I'm equally glad I realized how I feel and that it happened now because I doubt I'll get many more chances after this. I have to make the most of this, this very moment. It has to happen right now. I just hope it's not too late.

 **A/N: Writer's block seems to be the gift that keeps on giving because I have it again for chapter 5! Also, I have to catch up on classwork but I still wanted to get this chapter out. Anyways, it's going to be a little while before I finish the next (and final) chapter of this story!**


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